...the question is, how does it go?

Step 1.

Insert the key card into its slot. The card is more like a thick slab of packaged butter you get at a hotel restaurant.

Step 2.

Step on the brakes and press the start button on the left of the steering wheel.
The engine instantly roars to life then dies down into a low hum. Weird.
Not like an Alfa at all.

Step 3.

Drive like you're insane.

Well no, not really. You see the 2.2 JTS uses a Selespeed gearbox. The Alfa Selespeed system patented by Magneti Marelli is both an automatic and a manual.
In Manual mode, you push the lever up to change to lower gears. Push the lever down to change to upper gears. Your left foot will be happy because there is no clutch to work with!

To go into automatic mode you have to pull the gear lever to the right and hold for 2 seconds. The electronics will then set the car into D.
Drive as usuall, however, Alfa's do not behave like your typical German or Japanese car. In order for the gear to shift up, you need to let go of the accelerator from time to time.

It takes practice because you have to time your right foot in order to synchronise with your gear changes.

At low speeds the car is happy enough to trundle along and not spur you on to go faster. But secretly wishes that you make it run a little when you see a straight empty road ahead by flooring the throttle. 8 seconds is all it takes to get to 100 kmph and should you have a heavy foot, run all 6 gears and you'll find the speedometer reaching 220kmph very quickly. All in a car that weighs 1.6 tonnes!

...you know you're sitting in an italian.

..when the car completely envelopes you in supple napa leather, the dashboard isn't a plethora of buttons and doodackies. There are no satnavs or in your face LCD monitors to take away the driving pleasure. Your legs somehow manage to squeeze in and your knees within a fraction of an inch to touching the dash.
Sitting in the back offers less legroom and headroom particularly for the 6 footers. You see, Italians aren't a very tall bunch of people so Malaysians would feel quite at home in this car.


The centre console is angled towards the driver in typical Italian style. The turning indicators levers and cruise control sticks exude more class than a bowl of caviar in a posh French restaurant. The gear lever looks at you inviting you to take the car to its limits while shouting out the window at the man driving a Japanese car "You've boughta de wrong car!".

Overall the cabin is certainly a warm place to be in and you would use just about any excuse to drive it, even to the local pub 7-11.

more later...

German vs Italian

The simple ol German,

(Audi TT Quattro)

or the hot Italian.

(Alfa Romeo Brera)

I'll go for the Italian any day. (lol even the Audi's name has an Italian word in it)

The Alfa Romeo 159

You may have noticed my sudden affection towards the Alfa Romeo brand. I didnt know used Alfa's were affordable till a few weeks ago.

In 1998 there was a teacher in school who drove an Alfa Romeo Spyder. She was beautiful. (I'm referring to the car!....although the teacher wasnt bad looking herself)

I decided to have a looksee as well as test drive the new AR 159.

Now readers from Singapore may have noticed some of these driving about but thats because the car was lauched there 2 years ago. But north of Temasik, the new Alfa Romeo models have finally arrived thanks to Sime Darby Auto Connexion.

The first thing that you may notice is its proportions. Long sweeping bonnet and low shoulder line creates the illusion that this is a sports car. Well you wont be wrong in thinking so.

This model replaces the highly popular 156 (1999-2006) and immediately drops the hairy chested machismo image of the 156 for a more classy grown up Peirce Brosnan in James Bond look.

The dimensions and pricing of the car look to compete with the Honda Civics, BMW 3 series, Toyota Corolla and Mercedes C class. But should you put the car next to its Japanese and German rivals, the car looks much much smaller.

Peer to the front of the car and you'll notice the front lights have 3 lamps on each side. The Alfa "heart" sits more "upright" now emphasizing the car is now for the more serious of users. The back end of the car retains the solid look of a sporty sedan.

Now onto more interesting bits. The model I tried is the 2.2 JTS Selespeed. The only model available in Malaysia but Sime Darby may decide to bring in the more powerful 3.2 L petrol model if sales go well. It is unlikely they will bring in the 1.9 L diesel as the model requires Euro 4 grade diesel, not available in Malaysia.

Opening the car door activates the selespeed gearbox, you can hear a faint whir and hum, my heart skips a beat but not for the obvious reasons. You see the Selespeed system is notorious for....breaking down. But I certainly the hope changes have been made to improve the overal system.

I sit inside and instantly I know I'm in an Italian car. More later....

You dont look so good yourself...

If I am fatter than before, I know.

If I am carrying a 12 kilo baby, I know.

If my face is rounder than it was 2 years ago, I fucking know!

I dont need YOU to tell me I'm fatter than before.
I dont need YOU to tell me that I am happy and work is good to me.
Because it certainly is NOT. Stress will only make me gain weight. Stress makes me eat more.



If you think I'm one of those chauvenistic men who assume they are in shape, big belly and unkept hair and that I demand that my ladies and girlfriends MUST NOT WEIGH MORE THAN 45 kilos, then you are WRONG.
If I think they look great, i tell them.
If I think they look shabby and fat and bloated from water retention, its not for me to say. I freaking shut the hell up.

If you really need my opinion, you could do with a few minutes on the treadmill everyday yourself. Then throw out a couple of toxins in Bikram Yoga's Hot room (hurhurhurhur direct plugging here). Then you can put down that freaking fork.
IN. YOUR. FACE.

RROOWWW

an AR 75

the venerable AR 155

the sexy AR 145

fast and furious Twinspark AR 146
the monstrous AR 156 GTA
delightful AR 147

majestic AR 166
AR 159, up and coming legend

the awe inspiring, ferrari killing Alfa Romeo 8C Competizione

He almost lost his face...

though masked by sheer amount of blood, I couldnt tell if I was looking at his face, or just muscle underneath.

I helped a man who was lying unconscious at the side of the road.Acoording to witnesses his face was dragged on the road for about 10 metres after his motorcycle slipped and fell. I took him to the hospital in my mothers car.

Now I cant remove the blood from the car seats.

Sometimes being kind doesnt pay.

Just like it didnt pay to trust those Kelings who stole my helmet.

Puki poyo

Jangan nak poyo sangat la you fucking bitch. Just because you have a Masters degree doesnt make you so great.
Masters from South Australia pun nak hidung tinggi macam babi hutan.
Poodah